Where have the updates been for the last several days? Frankly, I have no idea. I just woke up at my keyboard with no memory. The only things I know for sure are that my tinfoil helmet is missing and my lower extremities feel like I’ve been riding a horse bareback for the better part of a week. There hasn’t been any blood in my urine or anything, but I suspect I might have the rare and difficult to cure condition of urine in my blood. Please, pray for me. I don’t know how long I have left.

While I have no idea what happened to me during my time away, I had the presence of mind to not worry about my physical well-being and start checking out gaming news sites the minute I woke up. One of the first things I noticed were the reviews of Manhunt 2 that had started to trickle in. After all the controversy, the initial AO rating, being banned in the UK and Australia, the game turns out to be pretty terrible. The hype that surrounded the game, inflated by the continuous stream of domestic and international news, made the sequel to a mediocre game seem relevant. It became a conversation about “art” in the face of censorship, but, in the end, it’s the same story as some modern artist making a Christian cross from a collection of his own feces. No matter what happens, the final product still ends up being a giant pile of pooh.

In an interview with MTV, Jeronimo Barrera, VP of product development at Rockstar, said that there were “intelligent conversations” to be had about Manhunt 2, if only people would stop focusing on trying to ban the game. Too bad that, as far as I can tell without actually playing the game, the only “intelligent conversations” that can be had are about the attempts to ban and censor the game, and if that contributed to the game sucking more. (Answer: Probably not.)

Don’t expect a Danger Dance review of Manhunt 2 any time soon. I’d rather play through the excellent and hilarious Portal again, then punish myself with this tepid crap. Besides, I think it might exacerbate my urine-in-blood situation.