Danger Dance

It’s been two months of quiet contemplation here at Danger Dance. It originally started off as just a week to reflect on our major accomplishments and contributions to society, but it quickly spiraled out of control into a full two month hiatus. It isn’t that we had accomplished that much in our careers as remorseless insulters of games and game developers. The real problem that confounded us for so long is mainly how no one had recognized any of our valuable contributions to society, like that time we said videogames suck. (That was going to be a link to a specific article, but it turns out the entire site is really one non-specific example.)

It was a dark time for all of us, but we are feeling a lot better now. I’d like to thank the death of Game for Windows: The Official Magazine for that. Their death led me question what was important in life and put me in a state of deep reflection. This was on top of all the thinking I had already been doing. It essentially left me in a catatonic state of pure contemplation, until David came by and smacked me in the head with a folding chair. Leave it to death — and being smacked in the head with a folding chair — to finally wake me up from a self-induced stupor and realize that there is no better time than now to be bitter, mean, and tasteless on the Internet. It’s practically the Golden Age of being a jackass. So, yeah, we are officially back.

The question still remains: how can we make a notable contribution to society, so that someday we can leverage that attention into making millions via the Internet? Some call it a far-fetched dream, I call it the lazy man’s American Dream. Would you deny someone the American Dream? Are you some kind of Commie pinko dog raper?

Well, after at least five good minutes of research, it seems that to be recognized we need to come up with the sort of earth shattering analysis that a site like IGN comes up with regularly, like for example “What’s Wrong With Dragon Ball Z“. Guess what? This is only part one! It never occurred to us, in our narrow thinking, that we could split an article about why something is terrible into separate parts. With that kind of outside the box thinking and these sorts of hard hitting articles it’s no wonder IGN is such a popular site. It’s really refreshing and brave to see a site take the time to produce an “academic” piece about how DBZ is a horrible abomination, that apparently ruined anime forever. Here I was thinking it was all of that tentacle rape.