Years ago, polls were reserved for political purposes. Who will you vote for in the upcoming election? Do you approve of politician X after the allegations of underage sex with barnyard animal Y? It was a simpler world back then. Now, with the growth of the Internet, the proliferation of polls has reached a critical mass. Everyone wants to know what everyone else thinks about everything.

The guiding principal of Internet polls is called the Grade School Rule. The possible options must be presented in the same way as a grade school multiple choice question. The first three options are vaguely plausible, while the fourth is completely implausible, as well as a pathetic attempt at humor. Example:

The twentieth President of the United States and victim of assassination was…

A) Abraham Lincoln
B) John Kennedy
C) James A. Garfield
D) Garfield the Cat

For those at home wondering, the correct answer is C) James A. Garfield. You’ll notice that the first three options are plausible. They were all Presidents of the United States and they were all victims of assassination. However, the fourth option is Garfield, a fictional cat who was neither. Some may even find the very inclusion of this fictional character humorous. I’d say those people are brain damaged or school teachers.

Sexy is an understatement.
Gamespot has these same types of polls, dealing with topics important to gamers, like “Which corporate mascot do you find most physically attractive? A) Mario B) Sonic C) Master Chief D) Phil Harrison?” Obviously, Phil Harrison is the “joke” option there, but somehow still won the poll, likely because he is a sexy bitch.

The latest Gamespot poll is as follows:

I'm so conflicted. Which ridiculous option do I vote for?

What does that even mean? I don’t even know what most of the options say. Not only that, it breaks the Grade School Rule. All the options appear to be weak attempts at humor. Unforgivable.
Finish the fight!

I was looking for the option that said, “You’ve wasted valuable seconds of my life by making me read this poll, then subsequently wasted more of my life by making me feel compelled to write about it.” They didn’t have that, so I voted for, “Eh, I’m unimpressed,” which came the closest to describing how I felt about the poll. Rush over there and vote. I think we can still catch up to “Holy #$%*!”, which is obviously just wrong.